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I’m 38 years old and I froze my eggs two months ago.  It was a physical and emotional journey, but one I’m happy I took.  During the process I often found myself turning to Google-University to learn more.   

There is a lot of information out there, and a lot of the high-ranking search results come from fertility clinics, which is not inherently bad, but they tend to be more “matter-of-fact” and repetitive. Then there were the doom-and-gloom exposes like this NYT Article: “Sobering” Study Shows Challenges of Egg Freezing. 

After some initial data gathering, what I craved most were first-hand accounts of people’s experiences – and honestly, some optimism.  Fortunately, I have a number of friends who have gone through variants of fertility freezing: egg freezing, embryo freezing, and IVF.  Talking to them was immensely helpful. As was reading blogs and Instagram posts from others who had gone through egg freezing.  

While I was going through the egg-freezing process at 38, I didn’t feel equipped to talk about my egg-freezing journey where it could be accessed publicly. (Though, I sure talked to friends and my sister about it process!). I now do, and so the following is a rough breakdown of what I view the steps of the egg-freezing process as with my experience and top tips for each.  

If you’re reading this in anticipation of your own egg-freezing journey, I wish you the very best and hope that you feel medically and emotionally supported throughout the process.

A Note on Affiliate Links/Ads: Writing honestly is always a value of this blog.  Because of the sensitivity of this topic, I have decided not to include any affiliate links in the body of this article. There are two clearly disclosed links at the end if you want to use them to support. Due to how my website is set up, you may see advertisements on this page.  I’ve tried to turn them off, but GoogleAds settings can be tricky. If there are ads, please be aware that they show up automatically and are not personally selected by me.  Please do not consider any ads that may show up as an endorsement of any kind. 

PHASE 1: INFORMATION GATHERING & DECISION MAKING

Phase 1: During this phase you’re gathering general background information about egg freezing, and deciding whether you want to schedule a fertility consultation for egg freezing. You may also still be evaluating whether you want children or how you would prefer to have children.

Typical Time in Phase: Months to Years

My Experience

As noted above, I froze my eggs at 38 years old.   It may sound strange, but deciding to freeze my eggs was the most emotionally charged part of the entire process.

Like many, I went through phases of shifting viewpoints on whether I wanted children.  In my early years, I just assumed, without much thought, that I’d have kids one day.  Later, as I became more aware of just how much childcare entails, I became uncertain whether I wanted them.  

At some point in my 30s, I decided that I did want children, though I can’t recall the first time I shared that openly.  It is a difficult thing to admit that you want something that you are not at all on track to have.

I started to know more people that were going through IVF after fertility struggles.  Some were ultimately successful, others were not.  At the same time, I saw more friends having healthy children near at older ages (late 30s into very early 40s). There was this weird emotional see-saw of optimism on one side and doom and gloom on the other.  This emotional flip-flopping was characteristic of the entire experience for me.

Egg freezing became something that would periodically pop-up in my thoughts.  And yet, I waited.  I was just young enough to feel like I still had a chance of not needing reproductive technology, which was emotionally and financially appealing.  The math (date someone for a reasonable time, get married, have kids) still kinda-sorta-possibly worked without “needing” to freeze my eggs.

As it is known to do, time ticked on, and eventually, at 37, I realized that if I continued to wait, I could very well lose the option of egg freezing and the possibility of biological children.  Nothing like a deadline to spur you to action. I took an at home fertility test through Modern Fertility (formerly, Ro) in October of 2022.  Two months later, in December of 2022, I scheduled an initial consultation with CNY Fertility for February of 2023, the first-available appointment.

While I decided I wanted kids before I decided to freeze my eggs, some use fertility preservation as a method of (hopefully) retaining the option.  Runner and obstacle writer Amelia Boone wrote from that perspective in her blog post Eggs on Ice: My Experience with Egg Freezing.

In sum, the first phase, for me, was much less about learning about the medical process of egg freezing, and more about accepting where I was at in life, being honest about what I wanted, and realizing the time was NOW if I was going to do it.

Top Tips for Phase 1 of Egg-Freezing

Start Saving – Start saving ASAP.  Even if you don’t think you’ll freeze for a few years.  I think the current national average in the US is around $17k for the full process (appointments, testing, medication, retrieval). Anecdotally most friends I talked to were around $15k and mine came in a little under including travel costs.  While some insurance plans provide coverage, most still do not.  I started a separate savings account just for fertility savings.  If you decide not to move forward with egg freezing, you’ll have a sweet little vacation fund.

Savings Tip: Use a high-yield savings account (HSA), not a traditional bank savings account. You’ll actually get some interest! I used Capital One because I already had a credit card with them.

Start Early – Start the process early. Younger age is affiliated with a higher egg count and better egg quality. Additionally, you may discover health information that impacts fertility and would lead you to freeze earlier than averages suggest. It is easier to decide to pause egg freezing after testing than to wish you had information earlier.

If you are on the younger side (20s), do ask your doctor about the comparative risk of OHSS (a side effect that is more likely if you are younger)and freezing eggs at your age.

Make One Decision at a Time – Your initial decision is just if you want to move forward with a fertility consultation and related testing.  You can have a consultation and testing and decide you don’t want to freeze your eggs.

Schedule a Consultation – If you are even considering freezing your eggs, I unequivocally think it is worth scheduling a consultation. Rather than relying on generalized information, you will get personalized information that can help you decide if egg freezing makes sense and when you should move forward with it. You will also get the opportunity to ask your questions. Either as part of your consultation or following it, you’ll have testing that will provide estimates regarding your fertility. Because I chose to travel for egg freezing, my initial consultation was a phone call with no immediate testing – instead I received orders to go get testing.  

Timing Tip: Schedule ASAP. It can take weeks to a few months to get in for an initial consultation depending on the clinic(s) you are meeting with.

Look for a Clinic that Uses Vitrification– When choosing possible clinics, look for one that uses vitrification, described as “flash freezing” to freeze eggs. This is the current best practice, and it improves the likelihood of successfully using eggs compared to the older slow-freeze technique.  All the clinics I looked at used vitrification, but it’s an important thing to be aware of just in case.

Know About Cut-off Ages – Some clinics have a cut-off age for egg-freezing, meaning they won’t freeze eggs after a certain age.  That cut-off age is usually around 40 years old from my research.  Purely conjecture, but I suspect/hope that as technology continues to advance, this age may move upward a little. Cut-offs for creating embryos with your own eggs tend to be higher, around 42 – 45 from my research.  Just something to be aware of and ask clinics about.

Create Folders – During the egg freeze process, you’ll start receiving a lot of information – financial packets, informational packets, test results, etc.  Go ahead and start two folders: 1 digital and 1 physical to help keep things organized.

Remember: People DO Have Children Using Reproductive Technology – During the research phase, things can look grim – there are charts of likelihoods of success and talk of fertility cliffs and you can start to wonder “how the f*ck does anyone get pregnant after the age of 20?!” Irrefutably, age does matter when it comes to the likelihood of a successful outcome.  However, it is imperative to also remember that people of varying ages DO have children using reproductive technology, including egg freezing.  Again, a consultation and testing that you can have better estimates given your specific test results.

Gather Emotional Support – Start gathering your emotional support.  The egg freezing process can be emotional and at times, can feel lonely.  As I mentioned above, for me, the decision-making and information-gathering part of the process was the most emotional for me.  Chat with friends, schedule fun things for after appointments, do whatever will help you feel supported.  If financially viable, I think working with a licensed therapist or counselor would be beneficial.  I didn’t but would if I did it again and could swing it financially.

PHASE 2: CONSULTATION & TESTING

Phase 2: During this phase, you’re meeting with fertility clinics and having testing done to figure out your body’s unique baseline so that your medical provider can give you personalized analysis regarding the likelihood of success and the best stimulation approach.

Typical Time in Phase: One to three months (incl. waiting time for appointment)

Top Tips for Phase 2 of Egg-Freezing

Think Twice About At-Home Testing – I’ve done at-home preliminary testing twice, but I think it’s important to make sure it’s right for you. Getting results in the privacy of your own home is nice, but not having a licensed medical provider that can interpret those results for you can lead to ineffective stress, anxiety, and Google searches. The clinic I used allowed me to use the results, but another clinic I consulted with wanted their own testing because they stated sometimes the at-home testing can be a little off due to the process.

Ask Friends and Medical Providers for Referencing – Choosing a fertility clinic for egg freezing can be a bit daunting. There are a lot of clinics available, especially in major cities like San Francisco, New York, and Chicago. But choosing one can be challenging. Ask both friends and your OBGYN for recommendations. Friends tend to judge off the general experience while OBGYNs have more knowledge re: a clinic or provider’s reputation.

Schedule a Consultation – Yup! I said it above and I’ll say it again here because it can take a long time to get in for an appointment. My experience was about a month for the clinic I used (CNY) and the same for a clinic I consulted with about a potential second round of egg freezing. However, for some clinics the wait is closer to 3 months!

Block-off Post Appointment Time – If possible block-off time or schedule easy work for the time after appointments. While early appointments are usually not physically demanding (usually blood work and an internal ultrasound), they can be mentally draining.

Loop in Your Other Medical Providers – While some of the testing fertility clinics require is fertility-specific (e.g. genetic panels), some of the testing needed is also part of routine medical care (e.g. CBC). Talk to your normal medical providers to see if they can order some of the routine lab work. This may help get it covered by insurance (but also ask the clinic to ensure they’ll accept outside labs – oy, there’s a lot involved in the egg freezing process!).

Th

Coming soon…next-up I’ll be writing about the following phases:

 PHASE 3: STIMULATION

 PHASE 4: RETRIEVAL & RECOVERY

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