Sort of Legal

These are a few of the questions that I’ve gotten a lot in the past six-weeks.

What are you doing?

Exploring the idea of finding myself through travel by vagabonding for a bit in the United States and Asia.

In plain English, I gave up my studio apartment and have been technically homeless since about 2PM on December 31^st. It actually feels like a bit longer because I was in Mexico from December 24^th – December 30^th with my parents for the holidays. 

I was in the apartment for less than 24 hours between the 30^th and 31^st, just enough time to miraculously get the remainder of my stuff packed and into storage. No miraculous is not an overstatement. If you saw it, you would understand. I paid someone from Handy.com to clean it which was money well spent.

Currently, I’m sitting in the Hong Kong airport enjoying my last in Asia Asian beer for a while preparing to head back to California. I am staying with a friend for two nights (thanks Pam!!!) and not sure what is to come after that.

Why?

Because a little voice told me to.

That both is and isn’t a sarcastic answer. There have been a few rare occasions in my life when I have had “epiphany” moments. One was moving out of Jacksonville Beach, Florida (and ultimately deciding on California) and traveling for a bit was another.

These epiphany moments are fleeting. It’s a quick flash, a sense of knowing something with an unshakeable clarity, and then it goes away. It’s like a light bulb going on just long enough for you to see an answer and then quickly going off again.

The moment for this adventure came on one non-descript night in Summer 2016 after I had returned home from having a few drinks summer and I just knew.  I had always wanted to do some more long-term (i.e. not 5-7 days) traveling and it was time to do it.  I couldn’t tell you where I had come from that night, what night of the week it was, or why I ws thinking about trabel but I distinctly remember the feeling and telling myself “remember this.”

I knew from past experience that everything that happens after a moment of clarity is a blur that tries to erase that moment. The real world has a million practical reasons why you shouldn’t do what that moment told you to do. It has a million fears to remind you of. And the feeling of certainty that you had in that moment goes away so you have to remember it and trust it and trust yourself. And you have to say “efff you” to the haters in the head and in your life who remind you that in the real world things don’t always work out for the best.

It was weeks to months before I mentioned the idea to anyone. That was to my friend Pam on a walk around the big Encinitas park with her dog. She was incredibly encouraging and reminded me that her sister had gone on similar, though longer term adventures, including three months in Costa Rica. I then began to slowly tell more people and to make plans, to set dates, to think about practical things like how I would work, when I would need to give notice on my apartment, and so on.

And it was still really scary (still is sometimes) but I also knew it was right for me.  What I’m doing isn’t right for everyone and I get that.

How can you afford to travel so much? 

I can’t.

But I’ve managed to do it anyway by working as I go, giving up my apartment, and being budget conscious (but not ridiculously so). It’s a trade-off. For example, I worked until midnight Hong Kong time last night but I spent most of the day exploring Victoria Peak.

Is it scary traveling alone? Lonely?

 It can be both but overall, not really. 

This question is worthy of its own post (and I will do one) but for now I will say that while I had moments of fear or loneliness on my trip but overall these were not prevailing feelings. Overall, I felt very content, safe, and actually much less lonely than I did in San Diego before I left. No joke, I felt just as safe, if not safer, walking home alone at 11:30PM in the Thong Lor area of Bangkok as I do in burby-beachy Encinitas, California.

Did you meet a boyfriend/lover/fiancé/etc?

I did not. Nor did I look for one. This wasn’t about that and I’m glad that it wasn’t. Not having the distraction of dating or thinking about guys really allowed me to focus on “being present” (the term has become so overused but it fits), introspection, and letting my experience come to life organically.

I did meet a lot of other cool people. Some I just talked to for a few minutes along the way while others I got to share some experiences with.

That being said, it would be lots of fun to travel with someone in the future and I think that my solo adventures will actually help me be a better partner when the time comes and to make better decisions in dating because I do have an even clearer sense of self.

What was your favorite…?

Can’t name just one.

A lot of people have asked me about my favorites – favorite city, favorite food, favorite moments. I love thinking about these questions but the answers are hard to decide on. I find myself giving qualified answers like “My favorite casual food in Hanoi Vietnam was….” or “My favorite city for touristing was…” Or I find myself, just plain unable to decide.